{ self-talk Tuesday }

you hear people talking about discipline.

telling a kid who she ought to be from the day she’s born.

it’s cruel.

but what’s a girl to do?

existence demands obedience in one way or another, and if you can’t obey yourself, someone else will command you.

comfortable and successful in their career,

they say they know all about what it takes to make it in this town,

they say you need discipline.

poor fools,

they don’t know the first thing about discipline or what it takes to actually live in this world.

they know how to lead venerable lives of avarice that’ll make the people proud, but that’s not living.

it’s true that, if you have no discipline, you’re a slave to your every mood and its subsequent caprice.

it’s true that, without discipline you’re helpless.

all that aside,

if you have no discipline,

you’re more than likely pretending to be someone else.

wanting more than anything to be accepted;

for someone to validate your existence.

sitting around at work,

sitting around in some apartment with white walls,

sitting around in bed wondering to yourself if you left this world tomorrow would you have any regrets?

no amount of lamentation will change the predicament you’re in.

and the worst part of it all,

is knowing that you put yourself here.

because you were too afraid to live a life true to yourself and not the life others expected of you.

but what’s a girl to do?

it’s impossible to serve both yourself and the crowd.

discipline promises no fame and no rewards.

only trials and tribulations that strengthen the spirit and its resolve.

being true to yourself in a world that wants you to be someone else.

that’s discipline.

[ photo: Elton John: Egg on His Face, 1999 – by David LaChapelle @david_lachapelle ]

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